I've been busy with starting up a home business that I've not been keeping up here. So sorry. The Lord has put on my mind the element of time. I don't know why, but time has been showing up everywhere lately. Not extra time, mind you, but reminders about time, too much time, not enough time, wasting time. I don't know if it's a spring feeling or what, but it's always close by reminding me it's there. I've been praying He shows me what it is I need to learn.
Anyway, back to this wonderful book A Woman After God's Own Heart. These next chapters are going to focus around Titus 2:4 loving our husbands. I find it interesting as does the author that this is the first thing God teaches us wives, to love our husbands. We older women are to teach the younger women how to love their husbands. We first and foremost need to make our husbands our first human relationship a priority over other human relationships, even over the children. Children are temporarily with us, then we are to set them free to have their own homes. We are still with our husbands after they are gone so this is why we need to maintain our relationships with our husbands during the child rearing years. It would be an awful feeling to all of a sudden you are really an empty nester and that would include no relationship with your husband. We have made a commitment to this man adn we need to work on it all the time. Never go lax on this one.
What I have learned in my studies and it is outlined in this book, is that God loves us with agapeo love, unconditional love and we are to love this way. But here's the interesting thing, God tells us to love with a phileo kind of love. A cherishing and enjoying kind of love. The kind of love where you actually like your husband. He should be our best friend. So how do we do this. The author gives some suggestions.
1. Decide to make your husband number one
2. Begin to choose your husband over all other human relationships - this is where we tend to over invest in our children and under invest in our marriages.
3. Are you spoiling your husband rotten? - you should be!!
Here are some ideas to shower your husband with friendship love:
1.Pray for him daily
2. Plan for him daily such as special deeds of kindness, special dinners, special time alone, special dinners alone, ealry bedtime for kids and go to bed at the same time (ok, I'm really bad on that one, I admit)
3. Prepare for your husband daily such as prepare the house. Pick it up, clean it up. Let's make his home a castle he enjoys coming to. Prepare your appearance. Boy, I've been failing in this area lately. Ugh. Prepare your greeting. Turn on some lights if it's dark. Make your words sweet. Don't immediately start complaing about your day or what needs to be fixed. Let the man have some dinner and relax first. make sure the kids greet their father also. Set the table for dinner even if it's not ready it at least looks like something will be ready. Get rid of guests and friends before his arrival. He's been working all day and the last thing he should have to deal with is a house full of other people and commotion. And for heaven's sake, get off the phone!!!!
4. Please your husband by paying attention to his likes, wants and dislikes and try to accomodate these things. Even if they are small, do them. It makes a huge difference in a home.
5. Protect your time with your husband. Here is a good rule to follow and I am pretty good at this one. When your husband is home, you should be home. Being home in the evenings when he is home is very important.
6. Physically love your husband.. I don't need to go any further on this one :-)
7. Positively respond to your husband. Remember to be gracious and positive.
8. Praise your husband. Do NOT speak critically of your husband to anyone. If you catch yourself becoming critical do these three steps: Search your heart, Seek a solution and set a goal. Bless your husband in public and in private.
9. Pray always.
I hope this book is an encouragement in your marriages, it has been for mine. Next chapters deal with being a mom. Stay tuned and I promise I will get back to this sooner. I'd like to be done before planting season which is just around the corner.
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